2012 Cassandra Report IV: Predictions 35-45

The problem with prognostication is not the risk of being wrong, it’s the frustration if you’re right but still have to sit through the train wreck.  However, it is universal law that you must put your words on the record before shit and fan collide lest you be accused of jumping the bandwagon later.  I made several predictions in January and have been posting them whenever I can’t think of something better to write it seems appropriate.  Here is the next batch of unsolicited prognostication:

Economics (The Dismal Science)

  1. Five years ago the phrase “fiat currency” was associated with bunker bound nutcases; and Ron Paul. Now it’s more mainstream but still associated with boring economists; and Ron Paul. By fall 2012 it’ll be a reasonable topic of discussion for everyone from rednecks to hippies. They’ll all think it’s an interesting concept but agree that Ron Paul is weird. Ron Paul won’t notice.
  2. In a totally unrelated development which in no way indicates that I’m paranoid, the justice department will decide that paying cash for anything larger than a candy bar is terroristic activities. This will happen at the same time as the press is desperately ignoring Federal operatives smuggling illegal guns to Mexico.
  3. In a totally unrelated development which in no way indicates that I’m paranoid the price of gold will flirt with and possibly break $2,000. Everyone will fall all over themselves to explain it has nothing to do with bailouts from 2007- 2008; except Ron Paul who everyone will agree, is a wierdo.

Miscellaneous

  1. The world will not end. It’s a calendar carved on a rock by people who didn’t have enough technology to make an electric toaster…get real.
  2. My tractor will break down while trying to use my new plow. If I were representative of a real farmer we’d all have starved to death.
  3. I, because I don’t have an altar to Obama, will personally be called racist. Al Sharpton, who makes a living off race relations, will be called a healer. After electing a black man to the most powerful office in the Nation in 2008, we will continue affirmative action in 2012 because there’s no way a black man could get a position of power in a fair competition. Go ahead…mull that one over for a while.

Protesters And Other Things That Clog The Streets

  1. Occupy Wall Street (or its successors) will gain traction when the weather gets nice enough to coax losers off the couch. The press will anoint them the status of “Gods among men”.
  2. The TEA Party will gain traction among boring old people who pay their bills. They will be pilloried in the press as terrorist assholes who are secretly gay-bashing racist robots.
  3. Last year’s experiments with protests in the UK and heretofore harmless “Flash Mobs” will combine and morph into several short but horrifically violent scenes of anarchy and looting. This will be overlain with irrelevant loosely defined political abstractions that can’t be written in 100 words or less. European scum will be the first to light the fuse but American scum wont be far behind. The press will be wildly supportive.
  4. Violent “protests” will use Twitter or some other social networking horseshit to attain impressive levels of self organization. In response the American government will attempt pass one or more laws that are blatantly unconstitutional but have awesome acronyms for names. The marketer who tops “the PATRIOT act” should get a Nobel prize but will get a free coffee mug. Ron Paul will vote against it. People will say this proves how weird he is.
  5. The price of gas will hit $4 and everyone will form a circular firing squad. The party that has steadfastly screwed all new energy projects will happily blame “big oil” and possibly bigfoot. The other party will try to explain supply and demand in the most boring manner possible. Businesses that profit from rising oil prices will have ties to everyone everywhere but the Republicans will inexplicably manage to look more dirty when the laundry is aired.

I could be wrong… wouldn’t that be great!

Here’s the link to Cassandra Report I.
Here’s the link to Cassandra Report II.
Here’s the link to Cassandra Report III.

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About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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11 Responses to 2012 Cassandra Report IV: Predictions 35-45

  1. Anonymous says:

    WRT 40, politics ain’t fair.

  2. Noah D says:

    Al Sharpton, who makes a living off making race relations worse, will be called a healer.

    FTFY.

  3. MaddMedic says:

    Reblogged this on Freedom Is Just Another Word… and commented:
    Words of Wisdom….# 40 really struck me..

  4. Michael says:

    Just finished reading all four parts. I laughed. Then I cried. Then I laughed some more. Then cried again.

  5. Robert Hewes says:

    I’m with Michael — think I’m gonna go drink.

    Excellent post, as usual

  6. Reltney McFee says:

    Holey Moley! I have read the New Gospel! You have it nailed! Forget 12/21/12, YOU, sir, have the inside track into the Future!

  7. Brad Kruse says:

    I think #46 has a corollary. I think gas will hit $6 a gallon this summer, so some presidential re-election campaign can claim victory by bringing the price back to $5.50. A second corollary will be that when gas hits $5 a gallon, most wind farm and solar firms will go bankrupt.

  8. Kristopher says:

    Addendum to #45: No one will blame inflated gas prices on fiat currency but weirdos like Ron Paul.

  9. Pingback: Summertime And The Living Is Easy | The Adaptive Curmudgeon's Blog

  10. Pingback: Possibly My Only Correct Prediction | The Adaptive Curmudgeon's Blog

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