The Strange Life Of Bowling Pin Chicken: To Freedom And Stupidity
Homestead Update #1. July 13, 2015:
“You’re a chicken understand? Just accept that you’re a chicken.”
Homestead Update #2. July 14, 2015:
“The ducks stood about six feet away in their square… radiating stupidity. They were my problem now.”
Homestead Update #3. July 15, 2015:
“I named the brown and white one “skidmark”… …the duck mind must be full of pastels and glitter.”
Homestead Update #4. July 16, 2015:
“…I named this unseen predator Vladimir Putin… Skidmark, the sole remaining duck, was a changed creature. He took up residence under my truck… and became Truck Duck.”
Bowling Pin Chicken Is Dead. September 6, 2015:
“The surviving duck, which had the size, shape, and intelligence of a bowling pin, started hanging out and acting like the chickens. Thus, his newest name, Bowling Pin Chicken.”
“Bowling Pin Chicken totally rejected the chickens and decided he was pals with the pigs. He had become Sub-Bacon.”
“…It has been three days. I see no errant feathers. No sign of a struggle. No duck bits. The pigs aren’t talking. I have no idea what happened.”
I’m Back / The Duck Is Back. September 23, 2015:
“Where the hell have you been?”
“Quack!”
Bowling Pin Chicken Just Doesn’t Care What I Think. November 5, 2015:
“I’m impressed by that level of “don’t give a shit”… …He’d be just as happy swimming in a radioactive shark tank as a National Park.”
A Mystery. November 23, 2015:
“…I waved a flashlight around and prowled the vicinity. …I heard an angry quack and noticed Bowling Pin Chicken (a duck) was there…”
Rookie Redemption. November 25, 2015:
“Off in the distance I heard Bowling Pin Chicken (a duck) quacking in his usual Gilbert Godfrey voice. I was tempted to check the odometer on my truck. Had they gone on a beer run while I was sleeping?”
To Freedom And Stupidity! February 16, 2016:
“He died as he lived… free and stupid!”
Tractor Repair Curmudgeon style (vaguely chronological)
- Sherlock Holmes And The Ailing Tractor: Part I
- Sherlock Holmes And The Ailing Tractor: Part II
- Sherlock Holmes And The Ailing Tractor: Part III
- Sherlock Holmes And The Ailing Tractor: Part IV
- Sherlock Holmes And The Ailing Tractor: Part V
- Christmas And The Tractor Of The Damned: Part I
- Christmas And The Tractor Of The Damned: Part II
- The Tractor Of The Damned: Part III
- Tractor Of The Damned: Part IV
- Tractor Of The Damned: Part V (With A Labor Rant)
- Tractor Of The Damned: Part VI (Meet Mr. Dipstick)
- Tractor Of The Damned: Part VII (Dipstick’s Diagnosis) (FIRE!)
- Tractor Of The Damned: Part VIII (Dipstick Is Saved By Chickadees)
- Tractor Of The Damned: Part IX (A New Dawn After Dipstick’s Mistake)
Furnace Repair (and my refusal to do so as a philosophical movement)
The chronicles of the learning experience that is the saga that inspired the book that will be the movie of “The Furnace: One Man’s Struggle”: Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
Firewood Saga 2014: Onion Sandwiches and Bridge Mats
- Firewood Saga: Part 0
- Firewood Saga: Part I: Units
- Firewood Saga: Part 2: Cold Calling
- Firewood Saga: Part 3: The Art Of The Deal
- Firewood Saga: Part 4: Jake and Julie
- Firewood Saga: Part 5: Bridge Mats
- Firewood Saga: Part 6: Frank Tries To Screw Me
- Firewood Saga: Part 7: Mission Accomplished / Math Works
Adaptive Curmudgeon 