In the last hour my secret, unpublished, do not call, rarely answered, “often the ringer is off and I usually won’t answer it even if it isn’t” phone rang twice.
My phone usually goes days without ringing. (Is that not awesome?!?) This week every couple of hours some random evil robot drone calls my phone trying to detect the pickup so it can add me to their list of “live” numbers. For the last two calls I was expecting a business call so I had to answer. One was the Democratic Party and one was a State Employees Union. Both were hung up upon (is that a verb?) faster than you can say “get bent”.
- I live in a state so blue they’d vote for Trotsky if they could. If the left is calling my ignored hinterland with it’s six voters and nine tractors then something is afoot. There are less votes here than a minivan in a mall and our biggest concern is raccoons raiding the chickencoop. Are the walls really coming down around them that much? I smell desperation.
- I haven’t picked up the mail but I’m assuming there’s a truckload of negative advertising pamphlets. Mostly from one side of the spectrum. I smell fear.
- I’m very busy on a project. No time for their insipid chit chat. No time to even reach for my air horn. Get off my lawn.
- Here’s a hint (that works for both parties). Govern wisely and you won’t have to be groveling before the big day. It’s better to have karma on your side. Also cramming for the final exam is supposed to end once you’re a grown up.
- Has anyone with an unlisted phone on a do not call list actually voted in favor of the douchebag that called them? How could that possibly work?
- I feel a little unbalanced. Almost like some minimum wage / volunteer Republican flunky should call so I can rudely hang up on him too. So far the stupid party hasn’t been that stupid. Well played sirs!