Here’s what my neighbor would have seen yesterday. Assuming, of course, I had neighbors, which I don’t.
I went charging out of my house at full tilt and stopped in the yard to shout “what’s the matter, not getting laid?”. Then I spun around three times while waving my arms and making a sound like this “Yeeghgh Blah Ploot Gnuff Errak”. Undeterred I sprinted to the woodpile, grabbed a perfectly innocent piece of wood and hurled it in a high arc onto the grass. Angrily I stomped back to my house only to return with a shotgun, wave it around a bit, aim at the inert piece of firewood, and pump two rounds into it (fatally wounding the wood). Then, smiling, I laughed uncontrollably for a full minute before hurling the wood over the fence and returning to my house.
Everything I did made sense. In my next post all will be made clear.
Adaptive Curmudgeon 
I can’t wait …
I’m thinking maybe it’s good that you are isolated from neighbors; Or possibly should be in isolation. Sometimes I wish for the latter for myself. As a vacation. No voices in my head. Why are you looking at me like that? I eagerly wait your next post, AC.
This ought’a be good……
Thanks very much for reassuring us.
Mind if I just hang on to that shotgun till the next exciting episode?
You just know that any story that begins “Well, it was like this …” is going to be a good one.
“…all will be made clear.”
Yes. Clear would be good.
Let me guess: there was a buck so engrossed in his own need for a doe and eating your trees/shrubs/garden that he had simply lost his instinct for self-preservation. And there’s you, looking at meat on the hoof but unable to legally kill him.