Critters

Dinner. And dinner for next year.

I was sitting at the dinner table when a doe with two fawns stepped gingerly through the backyard.  “Awww cute.”

She was heading along the edge of the lawn toward a little mowed strip that passes between some small patches of trees and leads toward the swamp.  I affectionately call this patch of mowed grass “the shooting lane”.  I smiled.  “I’m so smart!”

Abruptly the deer veered toward the back of the house.  “What’s this?”

And headed toward our apple trees.  “Stay away from my apples you bitch!”

I jumped up and ran to the door.  Not ten feet away the doe was sniffing our not quite ripe apples.  I was about to leap out and chase her away when I noticed she was pretty large.  “Not so hasty grasshopper.”

In fact she’d fill a freezer pretty nicely and leave two little ones for the next generation.  Should I sacrifice some apples now for slightly greater odds in a few months during hunting season?  “Hmmm.”

But then I remembered my wife makes rocking good apple pies.

“CHARGE!”

I flailed away like a maniac and all three deer nearly jumped out of their skin.

I love apple pies!

About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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2 Responses to Critters

  1. Sxooter says:

    I want apple-fed dear meat, that sounds so good.

  2. wyowanderer says:

    Rock salt. If they come back after that, consider the meat pre-seasoned.

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