Category Archives: Homesteading

Fauna Cluelessness

Curmudgeon Compound has an impressive TV antenna which came with the place.  I never hooked it up because fuck television! I’m lazy. The past few mornings a woodpecker has been earnestly hammering away at the tall metal support pole.  I’ve … Continue reading

Posted in Homesteading | 3 Comments

Critter Cohabitation: Part II

The invader was doomed. It had assaulted the homeland (er… home barn) and was therefore sentenced to death. I’m merciless about that. Rats and raccoons should know better. They’re smart and should know that looking for free food will get you into trouble with me. (I’m looking at you OWS!) Continue reading

Posted in Homesteading, Libertarian Outpost | 5 Comments

Two Rules Of Critter Cohabitation: Part I

Recently a critter and I tangled. It caused me to reflect on my “two rules of critter cohabitation”…
…Ten words. I’m a simple man. Failure to heed them is punishable by shotgun. I don’t do warning shots. Continue reading

Posted in Homesteading, Libertarian Outpost | 7 Comments

Springtime Miracle

When you tinker with homesteading you soon realize that mother nature is a steamroller and you are a worm on the road of life. That’s not to say that mother nature hates you; only that there is no definition of “no mercy” quite like the elements. Continue reading

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Livin’ The Dream

Homesteading is a mysteriously complex activity; beset with obscure and improbably strange challenges.  There comes a time when your hands are half frozen and you’ve used your last match and you think to yourself that any activity involving a propane … Continue reading

Posted in Homesteading | 5 Comments

Curmudgeonly Cooking: Bread V: Flour

Flour is the victim of historic oddities which have made something simple into something complex. I blame the whole thing on Wonder Bread and early 20th century urbanisation. (I told you it was boring!) Continue reading

Posted in Homesteading | 9 Comments

Curmudgeonly Cooking: Bread IV: Consumables

You’re going to need salt, yeast, flour, and gluten. Each of these things is so earth-shatteringly cheap that you should buy a lot of them. Why? Because they store forever (almost) and it sucks to go to grocery stores. Also you might want to make bread during the zombie apocalypse. Continue reading

Posted in Homesteading | 10 Comments

Curmudgeonly Cooking: Bread III: Equipment

Don’t let these objects commingle with the rest of the measuring devices in the kitchen. These are yours. These are for your full assault on the bread monopoly that’s keeping it’s boot heel on our collective neck. Like weaponry, your bread tools are now mission critical implements which should be properly stored where you and only you can access them. Continue reading

Posted in Homesteading | 9 Comments

Curmudgeonly Cooking: Bread II: Workspace

Remove the doily that inexplicably sits in the center and take the opportunity to dispose of the ridiculous scented candle that sits on the doily. (Toss it in the trash and blame the cat.) Now make some bacon. Why? Because it’s bacon. Do you need a reason to enjoy bacon? Continue reading

Posted in Homesteading | 13 Comments

Curmudgeonly Cooking: Bread I: Motivation

Don’t think “I shall make a loaf of bread”…that’s too wimpy. Think manly; “I’m gonna’ bake the shit out of a loaf of bread!” Closer but not enough. Try this “Those son of a bitches at corporate bread are never going to see another damn penny of my money!” Yeah, that’s it! Continue reading

Posted in Homesteading | 2 Comments