Category Archives: Homesteading

Curmudgeon Compound has an impressive TV antenna which came with the place.  I never hooked it up because fuck television! I’m lazy. The past few mornings a woodpecker has been earnestly hammering away at the tall metal support pole.  I’ve … Continue reading →

When you tinker with homesteading you soon realize that mother nature is a steamroller and you are a worm on the road of life. That’s not to say that mother nature hates you; only that there is no definition of “no mercy” quite like the elements. Continue reading →

Homesteading is a mysteriously complex activity; beset with obscure and improbably strange challenges.  There comes a time when your hands are half frozen and you’ve used your last match and you think to yourself that any activity involving a propane … Continue reading →

Flour is the victim of historic oddities which have made something simple into something complex. I blame the whole thing on Wonder Bread and early 20th century urbanisation. (I told you it was boring!) Continue reading →

You’re going to need salt, yeast, flour, and gluten. Each of these things is so earth-shatteringly cheap that you should buy a lot of them. Why? Because they store forever (almost) and it sucks to go to grocery stores. Also you might want to make bread during the zombie apocalypse. Continue reading →

Don’t let these objects commingle with the rest of the measuring devices in the kitchen. These are yours. These are for your full assault on the bread monopoly that’s keeping it’s boot heel on our collective neck. Like weaponry, your bread tools are now mission critical implements which should be properly stored where you and only you can access them. Continue reading →

Remove the doily that inexplicably sits in the center and take the opportunity to dispose of the ridiculous scented candle that sits on the doily. (Toss it in the trash and blame the cat.) Now make some bacon. Why? Because it’s bacon. Do you need a reason to enjoy bacon? Continue reading →

Don’t think “I shall make a loaf of bread”…that’s too wimpy. Think manly; “I’m gonna’ bake the shit out of a loaf of bread!” Closer but not enough. Try this “Those son of a bitches at corporate bread are never going to see another damn penny of my money!” Yeah, that’s it! Continue reading →