How Half Of America Lost Its Mind

[Update: Ace of Spades, who probably gets more hits in an hour than I do in a year, noticed the article a few days after me. I was in front of the curve for once? No shit! You might want to check out Ace’s post.]

I’ve been driving across the great beautiful chunk of freedom referred to (by assholes) as “flyover country”. I’ve been counting political signage and it’s fascinating. However, when I wrote what I’d seen it was eaten by the cloud. What can I say? I’m in an area of sketchy WiFi. (Usually I write locally and upload when done. I should have stuck with what works.)

In lieu of original thought, I’m going to refer to Cracked (which is hardly a fount of depth but sometimes they hit the nail dead center). David Wong slammed one out of the park with How Half Of America Lost It’s Fucking Mind.* Here are a few random quotes:

Donald Trump is a brick chucked through the window of the elites. “Are you assholes listening now?

An obvious observation, but there’s more:

“But Trump is objectively a piece of shit!” you say. “He insults people, he objectifies women, and cheats whenever possible! And he’s not an everyman; he’s a smarmy, arrogant billionaire!”

Wait, are you talking about Donald Trump, or this guy:


You’ve never rooted for somebody like that? Someone powerful who gives your enemies the insults they deserve?

I’m in awe. An analogy bridging Trump with Ironman; it’s silly but it’s brilliant. A rich jackoff that scares the squares and breaks shit while you cheer him on; unless of course this movie wasn’t meant for you. Brilliant.

I encourage everyone to read it all.


* P.S. I could point out the inherent bias of equating “support Trump” and “lost it’s fucking mind” but if you didn’t notice it on your own you never will. Also it’s Cracked fer crissakes; as with most media, the bullshit meter tends to redline a little bit. (Cracked used to be better and has declined lately but that’s the way of the world and it’s as predictable as Venezuela’s economy. Humor is the first casualty in a propaganda laden society and at least Cracked is still trying.)

** P.S. 2. I should mention that I haven’t seen the latest Ironman movie. I’m basing my approval on older movies. I’m assuming the character is about the same. If, in later movies, Ironman and the  Hulk went all Brokeback Mountain after they immolated a busload of kittens then the analogy might be a bit weak.

[Update: Ironman is now a teenage girl?!? Are they fucking kidding me? God dammit, is nothing sacred? I did not need to know they’d screwed the pooch on Ironman. Now I’m depressed.]

[Update 2: Someone said Thor is now a woman? What? How? Has Beowulf been informed? Is there no end? Presumably Zeus has been rewritten as a lesbian and Captain America is a socialist rabbit? Ironman was just plain fun and they fucked it up! I’m so sick of their shit. They fuck up everything!]

About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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12 Responses to How Half Of America Lost Its Mind

  1. Malatrope says:

    Ironman 3 was a good continuation of the first two. No broken backs there, except those who deserved kit.

  2. Matt says:

    Iron man never killed any kittens that I’m aware of, but he IS being replaced by a too-young-to-legally-drink-a-beer black girl named Riri, who will be known as Ironheart.

    Not making this up.

    • What. The. Fuck.

      A young girl replaces an adult but egomaniac engineer? How damn young can you be and still know all the shit that makes the suit? If there’s a room full of maniac engineers that can make flying rocket armor how many are female?

      I fuckin’ hate Hollywood.

      • Matt says:

        That was exactly my problem with it! All the years of experience that let Tony Stark be able to even envision how the suit should and would work in the first place, the knowledge of all the components, and the millions of dollars of R&D (even just using the computer to run simulations had to be mega expensive, not to mention the failed prototypes) and infrastructure required to build the damn thing. Then some 15 year old just built one in her garage? Really?

        fuck you, Marvel, and fuck hollywood. Pandering r us.

      • I agree. They at least made a point of explaining that Tony had a good solid engineering background. A teenager ‘aint gonna’ cut it.

      • Frit Bat says:

        Well. They are going to make thor a girl. Holyweird should be nuked from orbit.

  3. wyowanderer says:

    Like you said, he slammed one out of the park, and it’s good to know that someone in the ivory towered places is paying attention. But I’m afraid that it’ll be too late for them to matter.

  4. Cracked is about as liberal as you can get. I haven’t seen a SINGLE one that has been conservative. That’s biased.

  5. Frit Bat says:

    15 yr black girl as ironman. Hmm…why not make the girl a transgender part asian/mexican black girl who is oppressed by those evil white people who are evil because white…

  6. Frit Bat says:

    They’re going to make capt america gay too. Those bastards.

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