Some Of Hillary’s Minor Lies

I’ve fallen off the “no-politics” bandwagon so very hard! Forgive me!

Complaining that Hillary’s “ass pneumonia” (I’ll bet my ass it’s not just pneumonia) is a bullshit story is shooting willfully deluded fish in an exceptionally small barrel. Is there anybody on earth that really thinks it’s true? Even her faithful followers must know they’re being lied to?

The ever changing story is just too ludicrous: After many coughing fits and nine months of press avoidance, Hillary contracted pneumonia on Friday only to stroke out three days later. She had to be dragged (yes, dragged is the correct word) away but she revived in a few hours from a diet of air conditioning and antibiotics. She wrapped it all up by stepping out on the curb to infect her contagion (pneumonia!) on a random cute kid that just happened to be standing there.

Really? That’s the best they could do? When people lie to me I’d like them to make a better effort.

Raconteur Report covers it in more detail with How To Make A Ball Of Yarn From A Sweater (it’s worth the read). I’m only going to point out the things that pisses me off; with the press’ collusion Hillary’s bullshit nearly worked!

  • The press would explain it away if it weren’t for the video: Imagine if it wasn’t captured on video. Would we be talking about it now? We owe the truth entirely to one guy with a video camera. The video is hard to explain away. If it were not for a video the press’ bullshit would work. Even with a video they’re doing their best. Remember these words were written by people who saw Hillary getting dragged face first into a van while shedding shoes and mysterious bits of metal. Here are some headlines:
    • USA Today “videos show Clinton’s stumble…”
    • USA Today “Clinton left 9/11 event…”
    • New York Times “An Unplanned Absence for Hillary Clinton…” this one is action packed with horseshit; including a caption that I love “Hillary Clinton briefly appeared unsteady…”

Folks, those headlines are total horseshit. Getting dragged, face down and limp, into a van is not “left on an unplanned absence after briefly appearing unsteady and stumbling”.

Let’s try the same approach in a non-Hillary setting:

“…after I finished the bottle of tequila I was briefly unsteady. I stumbled a bit as I left”

“You mean when two dudes dragged you facedown and unresponsive out of the bar?”

“Yeah. I had an unplanned absence.”

“At least you found your shoe.”

Speaking the press blowing smoke up our ass, there’s another issue:

  • The magic non-hospital: The press makes it sound like Hillary needed a little nappy poo at her daughter’s condo and then she was right as rain. I’ve had pneumonia and I needed actual medical care. That’s what medical care is for. I assumed Hillary had a hastily assembled team setting up IV drips and whatnot in Chelsea’s dining room. How better for secretive Hillary to avoid the publicity of a hospital? Regardless of stories about recuperation at her daughter’s condo she really went to a private hospital. It’s possible it was built specifically for her? This is the address to which Hillary offskied:

So tell me, have you heard anyone at the press mention that Chelsea’s old condo is a private hospital? It’s on the internet here and here and here and here. I’d like NPR and CNN to grow a pair and start investigating.

Alas checking addresses is too hard for low performers with journalism degrees. They can’t even use a calendar. See the two examples below.

A calendar debunked a recent Hillary Clinton lie (link is here):

“I was taking a law school admissions test in a big classroom at Harvard…

…And while we’re waiting for the exam to start, a group of men began to yell things…

One of them even said: ‘If you take my spot, I’ll get drafted, and I’ll go to Vietnam, and I’ll die.’ And they weren’t kidding around. It was intense. It got very personal. “

John Hinderaker (link is here) did basic journalism. His super secret investigation method is to compare Hillary’s story to a calendar. Here’s what he found:

  • Hillary was a senior during the 1968-1969 school year, and presumably took the LSAT in the fall of 1968.
  • But the LBJ administration ended all graduate school deferments on February 16, 1968.

So we have two options:

  • Option 1: Hillary is a lying shitweasel who invented from whole cloth a story about angry misogynist deplorable men. I especially like how she weaves the tale such that an ivy league law student taking the LSAT (Hillary) was a helpless kitten who just stepped out of a convent.
  • Option 2: Big mean misogynist shithead men bitched to Hillary about a deferment program the president had ended 8 months earlier. They did this because they didn’t own a calendar.

Another story that’s false and debunked by a calendar (link here):

“Clinton recounted to the press her meeting with Sir Edmund in 1995, during an Asian tour, in which she told the mountain climber how her mother had named her… ‘when I was born, she called me Hillary, and she always told me it’s because of Sir Edmund Hillary.'”

What would an investigative journalist do with this information? Eventually (after a decade or so) they consulted a calendar:

  • October 26, 1947, Hillary Diane Rodham is born. She is named after an obscure beekeeper in New Zealand who will someday be famous.
  • May 29, 1953, Edmund Percival “Ed” Hillary and Tenzing Norgay reach the summit of Mount Everest. Thus fulfilling the prophesy of five year old Hillary Rodham’s name.
  • 1995 – 2006, Hillary repeats the charming story about how she’s named after someone with actual accomplishments in several venues.
  • October 16, 2006. (Link here.) “Clinton’s campaign issued a correction [to the naming story] yesterday. ‘It was a sweet family story her mother shared to inspire greatness in her daughter.'”

You got that? It was Hillary Clinton’s mom that lied. Nothing makes me happier than a person who hires staff to explain that a lie is their mom’s fault. It’s a sign of excellence in character and I’m glad we cleared it up.


P.S. That one time I drank thirty Jagermeisters and was briefly unsteady before an unplanned absence… it was totally my mom’s fault. Now elect me so that I may rule!


About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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5 Responses to Some Of Hillary’s Minor Lies

  1. Judy says:

    Hillary followers – what was it Lincoln said about fooling people? Oh yea,”You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.” I think her followers fall in the second group. And evidently, the people who surround her believe Hitler and Goebbels’ statement of, “Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.” of the rest of us. I didn’t like what I saw of her when her spouse was POTUS and I’m even less impressed with her today.

    I had pneumonia, too and whatever is medically wrong isn’t just pneumonia.

  2. Howard says:

    How does one get a password

    • I haven’t announced to yet so it’s my fault for terrible marketing; but anyone who makes a tip toward “lesbian squirrels” (or anything else) gets a password.

      My working name for this is “Membership into the League Of Awesome” or perhaps “I’m almost out of beer”.

      Any amount is enough to enter and I’m not going to make you register with a username or any of that crap. It’ll be crude and simple… like me.

      So far all you’ve missed is a test post that has no content.

  3. JT says:

    From the Vanity Fair article:

    “The 10th-floor, three-bedroom, 1,922-square-foot condo on Fifth Avenue where Clinton and her husband, Marc Mezvinsky, lived is back on the market.” That is the property for sale for 6 mil, not the 26th Street 10 mil place.

    The “Metrocare” listing at her current address is “historical.”

    My google-fu is not strong, but I think that time will show that this is Chelsea’s residence. Whether it is home to a medical suite like Dr. Jaffe’s from the movie Brazil we may never know. My bet is an Animatronics lab.

    • Really? Somehow that makes me feel a lot less paranoid.

      Before the “it’s a medical facility” story I pictured that one scene from “The Wall”. Doctors swarming around a hotel room with IVs and injections… “that’ll keep you going for the show, come on it’s time to go”.

      That’s paranoid enough but a whole “private hospital” put it more like “cigarette smoking guy from the X-files” level and I didn’t really like that.

      Thanks for the info!

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