Every Year I Temporarily Lose Ground

It happens far too often. I have too much to do, too little time to do it, places where I must go, and duties to which I must attend. Minor tasks get neglected of necessity. It piles up until a cascade of failure sets in. When that happens I’ve temporarily lost control of my little homestead.

Many things get chaotic but one that bothers me most is when the lawn goes feral. How pathetic can I get? A damn monkey can mow a lawn yet I can’t rise to monkey level of competency?!? (Hint: you can’t mow the lawn when you’re in another time zone.)

As with other busy summers I’ve resorted to triage mowing. Even that’s not working well but it’s all I can do. Hopefully things will hold together a few more weeks. Once I get a chance I can gain the upper hand. After that I’ll gladly deploy the brutal efficiency of setback mowing. Once I’ve initiated setback mowing I’ll be home free. It’ll take many weeks before that fine day arrives.

It is what it is. There are only so many hours in the day and sometimes you make trade offs. Sometimes you fail to attain otherwise reasonable goals. Sometimes your home looks like a crackhouse…

I’d made peace with it. But today I got an extra insult. It was from my dog.

The dog was pacing back and forth. Obviously distressed. After half an hour I realized my dog had deemed my lawn too unkempt and thus wouldn’t shit on it.

A lawn unworthy of dogshit is rock bottom! I’m half tempted to fill the sprayer with Roundup and kill everything.

About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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17 Responses to Every Year I Temporarily Lose Ground

  1. wyowanderer says:

    Let the dogshit machine shit somewhere else, for the love of Pete.

  2. Sharon says:

    Garden, Critters, “Lawn” – my mower is lost in the weeds right now. Glories of unincorporated living.

  3. Amyclae says:

    Triage mowing haha love it

  4. Amyclae says:

    Did I reply to this?

  5. jabrwok says:

    I thought you had spawn. Are they too young to start earning their keeps, or am I mis-remembering your familial arrangements?

  6. ralph says:

    i use cattle to mow my yard.
    barefoot is not an option here

  7. Mark Matis says:

    Ya know, if you had one of THESE:

    in your driveway, I bet you’d never have to mow that lawn.
    It would just quiver in fear and be unable to grow…

      • Ha ha ha… 25 minutes and they really had to stretch to said anything good about ’em and then one died on the road.

      • Mark Matis says:

        But it only died because its previous owner was “smarter” than AMC, and had replaced the original points and condenser ignition with a “better” electronic ignition…

      • Mark Matis says:

        That previous owner also installed a carb rated for at least 7500 rpm on that 304 motor, which is why the performance was worse than that of the stock 6 cylinder in the other Gremlin. But Holley appreciated his intentions…

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