Monday Resolution

Whereas shit happens;

Whereas there is no plumbing fairy;

Whereas I finance and maintain my own water/septic system from wellhead to leech field;

Whereas much of civilization depends on men wielding a round pointed shovel; and

Whereas a country boy can survive; now therefore be it

Resolved that Adaptive Curmudgeon:

  1. fixed the shitter, within a reasonably lax standard of fixed;
  2. has a back ache that ‘aint going away any time soon; and
  3. any twerp on the cover of Mother Earth News blovating about the ease of “voluntary simplicity” will get walloped with the aforementioned round pointed shovel.

About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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13 Responses to Monday Resolution

  1. Mark Matis says:

    So now not even YOU can call a spade a spade?

  2. Phssthpok says:

    Point of order:

    In the matter of said resolution, ‘simplicity’ would mean a pit outhouse, not the aforementioned and significantly more complex, flush-toilet/septic tank/leech-field apparatus.

    • Funny you should mention it but I’ve been meaning to build an outhouse forever. (An outhouse is like a pistol, you don’t need it until you need it but when you need it you damn well want it. Or something…) Mrs. Curmudgeon, seeing my pain with the trenching, is probably more on board with the expense now… wish me luck in August when I try to get it built.

  3. Malatrope says:

    Here is some sage advice from someone who has vast experience in this area: buy, beg, borrow, or steal a compact tractor with a loader bucket and backhoe. You will (almost) never have to touch a shovel again, and your back will thank you profusely for the rest of your life.

  4. Heath J says:

    Man, you need to make friends with a person who owns a mini excavator… We’re not that close geographically, but I’d have totally done that job in trade for some wood splitting.

  5. Robert says:

    Mr. Round Pointed Shovel created my resolve to go to college (OK, 2-year tech school) and never again move dirt by hand when avoidable. Damn handy skill to have in reserve, though…
    Vitamin I(buprofen) and physical therapy works wonders, too.

  6. Mark Matis says:

    I understand that this guy:
    is about to file a lawsuit against your libel.

  7. Max Damage says:

    There are few things more useful for digging trenches than a backhoe. Further, your Fordson isn’t going to handle one. A spade is a very useful though slow tool. Find a retired farmer with a backhoe on his John Deere 4020 and pay him. Visits to the chiropractor are not cheap.

    It is absolutely awe-inspiring to contemplate that the septic tank, well, and hydrants around my place were all dug by hand with a spade. It is also noteworthy that the men who dug them sharpened their tools at least twice daily and did not spend evenings reading blogs but went to bed at sunset and rested. There is probably a life lesson in that.

    One I’ve not yet learned, apparently.

  8. rapnzl rn says:

    I believe the correct term is “bloviating”. Hope the back has recovered, and that you are not having to dig….in this arctic cold.

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