Woodpile Report: Round #3

[The firewood supply rebuild started late and I came off the line slowly and had a dead saw day but my uber-woodsplitter redeemed me. You build a mountain a pebble at a time. It’s a whole lotta’ work so I’m reporting on it whether anyone cares or not.]

Round #3:

My splitter was already abandoned at my friend’s house but he had a tree of interest that was deep in his woods. I loaded my trusty old ATV on the pony trailer and headed out.

Even a wimpy ATV can do more than a man alone. I dragged some logs out of the woods. I bucked them because his saw (which started well) stalled and wouldn’t restart. (What the hell is it with chainsaws this year?) The splitter always starts. Honda should make chainsaws!

The stuff I dragged out wound up hauled, bucked, and split. He kept that wood. I was fixin’ to leave when I spied a stack of old log cants from his portable sawmill. Bone dry! Lonely forgotten wood! Future firewood in need of a loving home!

He was more than happy to let me “clean it up”. I waded into the pile and realized I was inside a six foot tall Jenga game. Good grief! The saw wanted to kick more than usual and there was a certain amount of plunging a bar into parts unknown. Lucky for me I encountered no hornet’s nests or metal detritus. He loaded most of it into my truck while I was manning the saw… which is why he should be wearing a halo.

It was fruitful but slow going. Stacking a truckload of split logs takes effort. Stacking a truckload of “plank bits” takes twice as long because they’re so small. Who knew? After the truck was full we tossed more on the trailer. Unfortunately some moron (me) had already parked an ATV on the trailer, using up most of the space.

End result? Half a cord of the bestest driest most kindling-errific wood you can find. It took unusually long to stack it in the shed but I’m a big fan of quality and this is good stuff. Unfortunately, the woodshed has a mere 1 1/2 cords of wood. That’s not enough. By New Year’s Day wolves will be at the door.

About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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10 Responses to Woodpile Report: Round #3

  1. Sean V says:

    I think that you should make another trip to see Frank and get some used bridge mats.

    • Mark Matis says:

      He’s afraid that Frank will outsmart him this time. My bet is that Frank is gone by now. Jake, however, is still there. And probably Julie as well.

      • Damn straight. If you know the guy’s out to rip you off why would you walk in the door with a wallet in your pocket.

        As a wise man once said: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjmjqlOPd6A)

        Then again I got a pretty good deal last time. Fred is still probably losing sleep over it.

      • Mark Matis says:

        Frank may be losing sleep, if he is still there. But Jake, who actually took your money, isn’t. He could have been more honest in the ad by listing it as bridge mat, but most people wouldn’t understand what that was. And even those who did – such as you – would probably have looked elsewhere. He priced it fairly, even though he knew how good it was, because his other option was to PAY someone to haul it off to a landfill. Did Jake try to cheat you? And he’s the only one in the bunch who actually had a reason to see your wallet.

        As you described him, Frank appears to be the “supervisor” for a bunch of heavy equipment operators in the field. There are two ways to be successful in that job. One way is to have good management skills and be able to operate every piece of equipment as well as any of your employees. They respect that, and understand you won’t take any half-a$$ed work. The other way is to be an a$$hole and have them be afraid of you. Guess which way is Frank’s mode of operation.

        The company needed to get rid of the “industrial waste”, and felt that their pricing structure was a good way to do it. And they knew just how much they needed to get rid of. Frank realized they would not normally go out to see the pile, and was shorting every buyer any way he could. My bet is that what was paid for but didn’t go out the door went instead into Frank’s bank account. Either directly by him loading up a dump truck with the stuff and hauling it elsewhere to sell again, or by him giving it to every one of his friends and family. The company would not look kindly on that, since cheating their customers gives them a bad reputation. And it’s highly likely that they found out what he was doing. And that he’s gone by now. But then again, YMMV. It is possible, but not likely, that Frank owns the company, and that he’ll be there as long as they stay in business.

      • I suspect Frank was Jake’s dad. Dad being the bankroll and son being the guy that keeps the trains running. That’s common around here.

        Jake was honest in his own way but only to a point. You’ll note that from the Craigslist photo to the moment I parked my truck at the woodpile nobody mentioned bridge mats. Call it a sin of omission, collusion, or just being slimy but it’s not by accident.

        There’s plenty of forest to chose from. If I’m not desperate (which is a few months off) why submit to ill treatment? Freedom isn’t all politics, sometimes it’s just acting like a free man who “won’t take shit”. I’m as likely to show up at Frank’s with cash in hand and I am to wait all night in line to buy the next generation iPhone. 🙂

    • OMG! Where the hell did you find that?

      P.S. My Stihl is a good saw and serves me well. It’s just that all saws get a little finicky at times and I’m a big fan of Hondas.

      • Anonymous says:

        Well, to be honest, I just typed “Honda chainsaw” into Google image search. The idea that Honda doesn’t make a chainsaw just didn’t sound right. 🙂

  2. aczarnowski says:

    The math isn’t adding up for me. If I’m reading this right you’re doing 50% of the work for 10% of the take. Of is there a heaping stack of IOUs in the truck’s glove box?

  3. Lee says:

    “They say,” up here in the Northwoods of Wisconsin, you should have your firewood in and split by the time you plant corn. Which I have done. Haaaaa!

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