Our main feline defensive perimeter (outdoor cat) was formerly a bad ass. It beat the shit out of everything cat sized and killed anything small enough to be eaten. It was a bully, a jerk, a monster. Yet I had to admire it’s brazen violence. It kept the yard free of just about any small wild animals and chased off any stray cat that even looked at us from afar.
On spirit alone, it should live forever… or wind up in Valhalla after an epic three on one battle with coyotes after it killed two of ’em and got a good couple hits on the third. Alas we are all mortal and time cannot be denied. Sometime this winter the little cretin stroked out. It didn’t die. No, it’s too ornery for that. It simply kept living at a 40 degree tilt. It also outlasted its peers (whom it beat senseless whenever it could). It’s our sole remaining outdoor cat.
I have a lonely, tilted, brain damaged cat in the yard. It freaks people out when they come to visit. So what? So do I.
Meanwhile it’s experiencing karma. The cat, who was an asshole all it’s life, is lonely and disrespected. Even the duck, which is apparently a chicken, doesn’t pay attention to it. Even worse, the little freak can no longer hunt worth shit.
It tries hard enough but a tilted horizon apparently wreaks havoc on the targeting of small birds. I root for it. Maybe someday I’ll be weird and tilted and brain damaged and desperately trying to catch a deer. I hope my cat roots for me from it’s perch in cat Valhalla.
Today I glanced out my window to see the monster trotting around with a freshly killed chipmunk. Well done.
An hour later I looked out and saw it pounce on a mouse and come up with a fat one… right where I’ve been meaning to mow and haven’t. Awesome.
My cat was having a good day. I smiled. Even evil creatures on the downside get a break once in a while. Then I realized that the victorious cat, which was now stalking another chipmunk…
…wasn’t my cat.
Shit! Without a violent feline musclehead hanging around to keep the homestead to himself we’re getting interlopers. I’m sure if my crooked cat ever focuses enough to see the intruder it’ll attack. Or attack a few feet to the left of it. It’ll be interesting to see what happens next.