Enchanted Forest

I saw this on a rural coffee shop’s bulletin board. What a deal! Who wouldn’t want land that is “quite” and has life which happens to be wild?

Grammar Nazi complaints notwithstanding I’m willing to be impressed by whimsy. If someone sells land at a premium because it’s enchanted then all I can say is; way to be awesome! (Enchantment is surely worth a few percent more than land which is non-enchanted and I deny assertions to the contrary.)

You know you want it!

You know you want it!

P.S. Being a simple man, could someone explain to me who’s walking around with a $20,000 CD and a hankering for enchantment? Is that specific financial instrument so common that it merits special attention?

About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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20 Responses to Enchanted Forest

  1. Mark Matis says:

    You asked:
    “…could someone explain to me who’s walking around with a $20,000 CD and a hankering for enchantment?

    The answer is simple. Most potential voters for ANY of the major 2016 Presidential candidates thus far…

  2. Cloudbuster says:

    Forged CDs are used in a lot of scams, because banks typically don’t tell you that they’ll release the funds from you in a day, but then it may take up to a week for them to actually verify the source, and if it comes back fraudulent, they’ll whip those funds right back out of your account (or hold you liable for the difference if you’ve already spend them!). The con man is long gone by then and you’re left holding the (empty) bag.

    All that said, I’d think this wouldn’t be particularly useful in a land scam as the land is, more or less, immobile. 🙂 If you’ve already transferred the deed, it will be a PITA getting it all resolved, but you’ll eventually win.

  3. Cloudbuster says:

    Sigh. “Spent,” not “spend.” Also, is $2,000/acre a premium where you live? You can get those prices around me, but only, like me, way out in BFE.

    • I do live way out in BFE. I personally think $2,000 an acre is too high for undeveloped land in this area. Everyone says I’m wrong and land is worth much more. They’re full of shit.

      I’ve noticed people nursing a grudge over underwater mortgages can, without irony, tell me how valuable things ‘ought to be without accepting what they really are. Haven’t we all noticed a disconnect in pricing between what those who are good at math figure on spreadsheets and the happy propaganda spewed by people who make a living shuffling mortgages?

      If this was good cropland it wouldn’t be on the market as “quite” and enchanted. It might just barely crack the two grand level if it was the best fields in miles. In that case some schmuck with too much credit and an inherited farm would buy it “on a hunch” with a subsidized loan that they should avoid like it was radioactive.

  4. David says:

    What is a CD (in this context)?

  5. In my area everything starts at about 10k per acre. I need to move.

  6. Robert says:

    The seller should hold a contest awarding the property to who (whom?) ever can find and correct the most grammar boo-boos in the ad. Hell, I want it because it isn’t merely Very, very private, but Very Very. You can’t go wrong with something that requires redundant capitals, not to mention the Maturity of the trees. With $20k on the line, wouldn’t you proof read a bit before posting by running it past someone who had paid attention in skool and wasn’t drinking?

  7. Charley Hua Chu says:

    Huh! 2 grand an acre. That 20 grand would buy only 1 maybe 1-1/2 in Waller County Texas and we’re considered boondocks. Heh!

  8. Heath J says:

    Overpriced, but you have to figure in the trouble of running off Trailer Park Elves*.

    If you haven’t read Larry Corriea, you’re wrong 😀

    • Are you suggesting that chasing off the trailer park elves is a hunting experience that mitigates the high price? I’ll pass. I have enough trouble with raccoons in the chicken coop and squirrels in the feeder. 🙂

      I have considered looking for an additional woodlot to keep my woodsplitter properly exercised. I don’t really need it but you can never have too much firewood.

      • Heath J says:

        Long as you don’t mind them poaching yer deer 😉

        Seriously though, local prices would have me running down little old ladies in the street to pay that little for a decent bit of wooded acreage. (White trash trailer Elves or not!)

      • It might be a decent bit of wooded acreage but it’s also equally likely to be six trees in the middle of a swamp.

      • Heath J says:

        In the swamp case, all you have to worry about is Wendigo/Wendigos (?). Not sure what the plural or Wendigo is supposed to be.

  9. Dan says:

    The value of land is determined by two factors. What can be done with the land and what the market perceives can be done with the land. Because if the market says you can’t mine it or cut
    timber than the market value is different from the actual land value. When buying land one must
    always be aware of the meddling of petty bureaucrats….they can make a beautiful piece of property almost worthless with their nitpicking and nonsense.

    • In theory you’re right. The value of land should be based on what it can earn back (inclusive of regulatory limits). In my experience cheap mortgages in the hands of people who aren’t cautious supports a big disconnect between the return you’ll get on land and the crazy numbers people will pay (or rather the bank will finance).

      Back in the late 2000’s I looked into urban rental property. Like any sane person I did informal “due diligence”. It looked bad. I’d need 100% occupation by saintly renters who shit gold just to break even. So I walked. Shortly afterwards everyone was shocked shocked to discover a bubble. Any moron with a spreadsheet could have dodged “the bubble”… I say this as a moron with a spreadsheet. Those same properties might pencil out now, at lower prices, but I’m no longer interested.

      You’re right that regulation can turn good land into a white elephant in a heartbeat. It’s a much bigger risk than natural events like flood and fire.

  10. cspschofield says:

    I would be leery of purchasing an enchanted forest, no matter how “quite”. Such places are often afflicted with odd infestations; Keeblers, Smurfs, Dragons, and such. Water on such property frequently has troublesome qualities such as turning things immersed in it into gold, or causing magical sleep. Wizards gravitate to such places, as do knights in shining armor, and both are pests. And enchanted forests are notoriously associated with enchanted princesses, who are nothing but trouble.

    Patricial Wrede has written several books about enchanted forests, or at least ONE enchanted forest. I recommend them.

  11. rapnzl rn says:

    Say, Dan….while I agree with the “Bureaucratic Meddling Depreciation of Enchanted Forests” value/curse, does “market value” include things like “access” and “water”? (Kinda think that also covers flood and fire – except in CA, where all bets are off).

    Even up here in BFE North, “Enchanted” sounds suspicious. Unless you are a Druid planning on opening a nature preserve with (paying) tours that offers (paying) guided hunting, in-season. If any endangered species are currently in residence, it might be worth a gander, for a different reason.

    20 years ago, I’d have given my eye teeth to find such a bargain. Fortunately, I’m older and wiser. And poorer….as a result of my own personal “Enchanted Forest”.

  12. jefferson101 says:

    I’m late to the party, but when he says “No CD”, he means that he will not sell on a Contract for Deed. In other words, cash on the line, and he won’t do owner financing.

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