Mea Culpa Ferguson

I’ve been avoiding the Ferguson kerfluffle. It has every demographic element fated to incite hostility. Count the red flags. Is it an area that’s southern, poor, two thirds black, and urban? Yep. Was the person shot either trying to surrender or trying to kick a cop’s ass? Yep. Was he a choir boy or a serial killer? Yep. And of course, was the person who shot him white? Yep. America in 2014 is not a place where urban masses are prone to react intelligently to such stimuli. As predictably as night follows day, a shitstorm of angry has ensued. Little, if any, good will come of it. I tuned out.

I was pretty successful too. Several days of stupid came and went without darkening my door. Then one day I was having a conversation with a good friend and he brought up the topic. I was trapped!

My friend pointed out things had gone from bad to worse. I’d presumed as much without examining the details. Things like this progress along a spectrum. As far as I could tell it was far beyond a Maine township circulating a strongly worded petition but not quite approaching 1992 LA. My friend said it was bad news and implied I should be paying attention.

It was mentioned that the President chose to insert himself in this weighty matter. Lately Federal action in a local (city level?) police matter hasn’t racked up a good track record. Particularly when a President uses local human pain to score national political points it’s a very bad thing indeed. Rather than “tut tut” I made light of it. “Of course he did.” I laughed. “His bread is buttered by racial friction.” It didn’t escape my mind that this is a mid-cycle election year and nothing would help the party of D like a big ugly urban riot and the press’ favorite superhero saving the day. He probably has a cape in the closet for just such a purpose. Never one to quit inserting my foot in my mouth I added more. “Let me guess. He’s having a beer summit?”

So it's agreed; Henry here gets to say he met the president, I get a photo op, and whitey here has to suck it up and smile.

So it’s agreed; Henry here gets to say he met the president, I get a photo op, and whitey has to suck it up and smile.

“This is a big deal.” My friend complained.

“Sure it is.” I snarked. “Let me guess; the press makes out like the guy who got shot is a cute innocent kid. They’ve got a photo of him looking just like Michael Jackson when he was in the Jackson Five.”

Reading and writing arithmetic Are the branches of the learning tree But listen without the roots of love every day, girl Your education ain't complete.

Reading and writing arithmetic
Are the branches of the learning tree
But listen without the roots of love every day, girl
Your education ain’t complete.
(Knowing how Michael Jackson turned out, the lyrics from ABC seem a bit creepy.)

I wasn’t done. “…they claimed he was a choir boy and everyone and their dog loved him. But now some blogger has come up with a Facebook selfie that the press miraculously missed. Maybe he’s posing with a pound of cocaine and a Glock stuffed in his shorts. Plus he hijacked a bus load of nuns last week. Am I right or what?”

The president of the United States actually said if he had a son his son would look like this.

The President of the United States actually said of the man in this picture; “If I had a son he’d look like Trayvon”. In my opinion that’s setting the bar pretty low.

“No! The police, they’re going apeshit.” My friend was serious.

I wasn’t.

“So they fired up the racial unrest grievance machine right?” I envisioned a giant dollar sign projected against gloomy clouds like the bat signal. Jessie Jackson springs to action and flies out in his Learjet to fan the flames in honor of folks who’ll never even fly in a Boeing. “So has Jessie Jackson arrived yet?” I laughed. “Wait. Isn’t Jessie dead? His son is in jail. Who’s left?”

“Things are getting out of control…”

“Oh wait Al Sharpton is around right?” I was having a grand time. “Let me guess Al baby wants to have ‘a conversation’.”

I have to admit, the dude rocks a pinstripe suit.

I have to admit, the dude rocks a pinstripe suit.

“Meanwhile, in the name of justice people are stealing televisions and burning cars? Are Korean shopkeepers patrolling with…”

“Shut up dammit! The cops are acting crazy.” My friend was having none of my rudeness.

“Uh huh.” I chuckled. “You know I’m all for rioters getting kicked in the balls.”


“Don’t taze me bro. Ha ha ha. I’m not buying it. This time the cops have me in their pocket.” I was just having a grand time.

“You’re being an asshole! This is a civil liberties issue!” My friend barked.

This brought my humor to a standstill. I’m all about civil liberties. I love freedom. It’s a bigger deal to me than just about anything else. Yet here I was cheering for cops which may (or may have not) have shot someone who may or may not have earned that fate. Since when do I make rosy assumptions about competence and a reluctance to run amok on the part of the boys in blue? Was this an internal inconsistency in my personal philosophy?

I seethe about a flash grenade in a baby’s crib so why should I grant the benefit of the doubt in Ferguson? Why am I incensed that the ATF toasted a bunch of Jesus Freaks in Texas but perfectly happy if they stomp on presumptive rioters in Missouri? My friend was suggesting the locals were acting like authoritarian duouchebags. Why should I doubt that? I’d simply assumed the Feds would make it worse. Throw in a few Cartman jokes (“respect my authority!”) and I’d somehow sided with a group that has a tendency to kick down doors and shoot the wrong person. What had I done?

The conversation ended. I felt thoroughly cowed.

I thought about reading all the news about Ferguson and getting to the bottom of it. I refused. Frankly there’s too much bullshit and I just don’t want to deal with it. Also Al Sharpton was involved and listening to that guy is like stepping in something that’ll stink for a week. As for Obama, perhaps he did a glorious soliloquy or perhaps he ate his teleprompter while golfing but none of that matters. I just don’t feel like parsing the delta between whatever the hell he will do from whatever the hell he said. Besides, what he’s likely to do is more or less nothing. Ask the Ukrainians. Who’s got time for all that swimming against the tide of misinformation?

Further, none of this changes the fact that I’d made a knee jerk generalization that was cynical and mean. Federal involvement doesn’t always make things worse. I’d been wrong to glibly dismiss what might very well be local cops acting like jerks and when the local po po act like jerks it’s the Feds that are supposed to punch ’em in the groin. Maybe they were doing their job?

So how should I rectify my verbal missteps without shoving my face into Ferguson? I had an idea. In the spirit of lighting a candle rather than cursing the darkness I decided to seek out and post a picture that’s unlike the nihilism of today’s age. I shouldn’t let cynicism take root and my friend called me on it. Good for him. The Federal Government can indeed do good. Here’s a picture from when staid boring President Eisenhower used the National Guard, guns and all, to do the right thing.

Sometimes calling in the National Guard is indeed the right thing to do.

Sometimes calling in the National Guard is indeed the right thing to do.

This has nothing to do with Ferguson. Nor does it mean that the Feds are guaranteed to be on the side of angels this time. It has everything to do with not letting 2014’s panic du jour cloud the long term good that’s out there. Mea culpa. I was wrong.

About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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15 Responses to Mea Culpa Ferguson

  1. r says:

    Local hood ( ah St brown of swishers) strong arm robs local stop and rob
    local cop responding to 911 see pair of goons walking in street tells them to get on side walk (cop has robbery to respond to)
    st swisher of sweets jumps cop trying to get gun and gets capped instead

    media goes all monkey on fact st swisher of sweets was (6ft+ about 300lbs) “unarmed”
    community organizing by chitago based marxists ensues
    local cops roll out donated MRAP
    You did not miss much except for some subzero cops ignoring everybody’s right to loot and riot and then state troopers ignoring their duty to protect
    store owners had to get their guns to protect their property when the state troopers would not respond to 911 call on looting there was a craigslist item for renting Korean shop owners

  2. cspschofield says:

    The thing that hacks me off about Ferguson is that so many people seem to function on the assumption that if one side is wrong, the other side must be right. Why isn’t it just as likely that the kid was an unhousebroken punk dumb enough to charge an armed man, the cops was a trigger pumping moron, the higher-ups have royally screwed the pooch, the protesters are a thieving mob, and thus Al Sharpton can only raise the tone of the whole thing?

    • “so many people seem to function on the assumption that if one side is wrong, the other side must be right”

      Brilliant. I was looking for the words but you covered it flawlessly. I’m not sure anyone looks good in this event.

      • Albert says:

        True enough. The cop’s aim _was_ shamefully awful.

        And, no, you nailed it on the head with the guessing. A healthy dose of “liberation” theology propaganda resulted in rioting, and at that point the civil liberties of the rioters are trumped by the civil liberties of their victims.

      • I’m not picturing looters fleeing wrecked shops clutching work boots, tools, school supplies, and literature. Let me guess on that one too; sneakers, liquor, televisions, clothes, and junk food. Was I right?

      • Albert says:

        Seeing as how the riots were focused on convenience stores, fast food joints, and neighborhoods, the “liquor and fast food” part of the guess is confirmed. Dunno about the rest.

      • Albert says:

        Still and all, the reaction in Ferguson was peaceful and mild compared to the _total_, _total_ chaos in Utah resulting from the non-white police on non-black punk shooting of Dillon Taylor.

        As _any_ media type can tell you, it’s the perfect example of how Whitey, clinging to guns and religion, is liable to form mobs and riot at the word of race agitators like Rush Limbaugh and the so-called “reverend” Thomas Monson.

        . . .

        (A wee bit of sarcasm may have been present in this post. Although as far as I can tell, Dillon Taylor _was_ a punk. Just not a black one.)

  3. razorbacker says:

    Have you, urm, checked into Central High School lately?

    Don’t go by yourself.

  4. jefferson101 says:

    Not to pick a whole lot of fly crap out of the Pepper can, but I do have to note that St. Louis is not and has never been a “Southern” city.
    They were the reason that the Yankees won at Pea Ridge.
    Just to be noting the issue involved, They were never Southerners, and don’t blame them on us, thank you very much.

    • Missouri is not southern? Such is my bias, anywhere you can’t go ice fishing by Christmas seems southern to me. 🙂 I’ll give it honorary status as “Midwestern”?

      I didn’t mean to isolate southern as uniquely prone to violence. Chicago, for example, had 11 homicides last week and that was about “average”. Last year the count was 440 homicides, which clocks out to 1.2 a day. I have a hard time groking a place where a person is stabbed, shot, or beaten to death once or twice a day and it’s “average” year in and year out. Would anyone be surprised if Chicago went the way of LA’s Rodney King Riots?

    • Judy says:

      Sorry, but Misery is Southern. It was a slave owning state.

      • Richard says:

        Misery is not geographical, people live in poverty, squalor and wantonness in every state, quite often the largest cities of the North are worst. I’ve never heard of women from being brought to Richmond, Charlotte, Charleston, Atlanta, Decataur or Mobile to be forced into the sex trade. Infact we are being flooded with Mexican ‘immigrants’ of their own accord. If you want to know the quality of a region, look at how many people want in, not want out; the south is growing, people are fleeing the north. I work with people from Ill, Mass, Penn, MA & NJ; they don’t want to go back.
        Slave ownership is a cheap shot argument in my opinion. My family has been in rural NC for many generations, we never owned slaves, and quite honestly I don’t know anyone whose family had slaves. But somehow the historical fact that there were (past tense) plantations in the south makes the south a mean, dirty place? There was child labor and sweat shops in the industrial north, but I haven’t seen anyone wringing their hands over that lately.

  5. Rich says:

    Frankly, the only Ferguson I want to hear about is the Massey variety.

  6. PJ says:

    I think you miss the entertainment value of Ferguson. There is no reason to avoid it unless you don’t like watching a cluster fuck on steroids, and who doesn’t like watching something like that?

    However I think you are giving Eisenhower too much credit. Whatever “good” the federal government does, is accompanied by another usurpation and concentration of power – which ain’t so good. They are working for them, not for us.

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