Death Wobble: Part II

Captain’s Log, Monday:

10:01 am: AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!

10:02 am: I have abruptly pulled over to the side of the highway. Something has gone suddenly and catastrophically wrong. I would have wet myself but I lacked the presence of mind to do so. Excuse me while I pry my hands from the steering wheel.

10:03 am: After careful consideration I have decided to calmly exit the vehicle instead of my initial impulse which is to leap out of the window while the truck was still moving.

10:04 am: I have safely exited the driver’s compartment of the now stationary truck. I have walked very slowly and carefully to a safer portion of the median, and then commenced to pondering the universe, my place in it, and the mind numbingly insanity of traveling faster than I can peddle a Huffy.

10:05 am: I have decided to verbally express my angst. AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!

10:06 am: Am I done?

10:07 am: Nope!  AAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHH!

10:08 am: OK. Things are looking better. Heart rate has dropped all the way to 250 beats per millisecond.

10:09 am: Nope… not rational yet. AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!

10:10 am: OK. Now I’m ready to think. What do I think? I think “What the fuck just happened?” What do I conclude? “I have no idea.”

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About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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One Response to Death Wobble: Part II

  1. Pingback: Wouter's Blog » Blog Archive » Read The Whole Thing.

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