Ignoring The Superbowl

Yesterday’s conversation at Curmudgeon Compound:

Me: “I stopped to fuel up the truck and it was chaos. Cars, trucks, all sorts of people acting like nimrods in heat. It was like opening day of deer season but with fewer rifles. The weather looks clear so I’m not sure what had everyone stirred up.”

Mrs. Curmudgeon: “It’s Superbowl Sunday.”

Me: “That explains it! A run on cheap beer and fritos at the last minute. Whew… I though maybe another storm was coming.”

Mrs. Curmudgeon: “You didn’t think to talk to anyone? Maybe ask what’s up?”

Me: “Nope, I swiped my card at the pump and got outta’ there. Why hang around a crowd trying to figure out the news? Better to flee before some chimp on a beer run dents my truck.”

Mrs. Curmudgeon: “You and the truck; it could have been the impending zombie apocalypse and you’d miss it.”

Me: “Is that a bad thing to miss?”

Mrs. Curmudgeon: (Changing the subject.) “We didn’t get invited to a Superbowl party this year but I got invited to an Oscar’s party next month.”

Me: “‘No’ to football and ‘Yes’ to Hollywood? Apparently I’m gay.”

Mrs. Curmudgeon: “You aren’t but my friends are, and you’re not invited Sasquatch. Call ’em and ask for an invite after you learn to rock a tux.”

(I glanced down at my clothes. I was wearing overalls.)

Me: “Maybe I’m just unpopular?”

Mrs. Curmudgeon: “That’s what happens when you’re an isolationist.”

Me: “I’m comfortable with that. You enjoy the party and I’ll stay home. I might read.”

Mrs. Curmudgeon: “Pick a book without zombies for once.”

Me: (Imagining a perfect evening of doing absolutely nothing; sipping a glass of whiskey, dog snoozing at my feet, a recliner by the fire… I was already deciding which book I should read.) “I’ve got a book about that Somali Pirate event a few years ago. I’ll read that.”

Mrs. Curmudgeon: “That’s a movie; ‘Captain Phillips’. It might win an Academy Award.”

Me: (Makes a sound exactly like Lurch from the Addams Family.)

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About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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12 Responses to Ignoring The Superbowl

  1. Sailorcurt says:

    You ignore the Superbowl? What are you, a communist or something?

    For what it’s worth, you didn’t miss anything. Lousy game. Denver played like a Pee Wee team from the first snap (which went over Peyton Manning’s head and through the end zone for a safety). I think Seattle’s defense took a nap during the third quarter, which explains the only Denver score.

    An imminently missable game.

  2. Robert says:

    Sasquatch reads?
    We recorded the whole non-event event and fast-forwarded through the game in order to watch just the commercials. I was forced to watch. The puppy ‘n horses one made everyone go “aww”.
    She-who-forced-me-to-watch wants to know if you and/or Mrs. AC are fans of The Walking Dead and if so, do you have any pithy comments regarding it. Also, World War Z.

    • Of course Sasquatch reads. So do I. We get together for beers and squirrel fondue every now and then.

      Mrs. Curmudgeon is long suffering on the TV front. I’m too stingy with my time to watch many episodes of anything in a row. Thus we never saw what happened to Tony Soprano, the guy from Breaking Bad, or the survivors from the Walking Dead. She finds it in her heart to forgive me.

      I love zombies! (Who doesn’t? It’s 2014 and zombies are the next step in our march to Idiocracy.) For Walking Dead, the last I knew a main character was stuck in a tank that didn’t have a dead battery and had a miraculously open frequency. Walking Dead seemed great up to that point. Alas I had shit to do and didn’t watch any more.

      There are rare exceptions to my TV aversion. I watched Twin Peaks end to end and loved it. Excellent! Also I’ve seen most of Trailer Park Boys. Terrible… don’t watch it… it’s mine; get your own guilty pleasure. You’ve been warned.

      As for World War Z; I read “War Z” just before the movie came out and poor Michael Bunker had to change his title to “Hugh Howey Must Die!” The book was excellent and $2.99 on Kindle (resistance is futile). I’ll watch the movie when Brad Pitt admits Michael Bunker not only cooler than everyone in Hollywood but that he characterized Piers Morgan perfectly. (Or maybe when I see it on Netflix.)

      • Robert says:

        “I’m too stingy with my time to watch many episodes of anything in a row…For Walking Dead, the last I knew a main character was stuck in a tank”
        Dude, that was the first episode. You’re not kidding about not following the series. It gets better- almost everyone dies. Mostly horribly. Some deserve it.
        I had to google Bunker and Howie. I’m so uninformed.

      • That was one episode? You’re kidding.

        TV causes timewarps doesn’t it?

  3. Tennessee Budd says:

    Don’t feel lonesome, AD; I haven’t watched any kind of ball game for 30 or so years. Hell, I can’t remember what year it was when I last watched an actual TV program. I do watch VCR tapes & DVDs, but the Big 3 have nothing I want to see.

  4. mpakxd says:

    With your mention of zombie books, I have to put in a plug for “Under a Graveyard Sky” by John Ringo. Best zombie book I’ve ever come near.

  5. MaxDamage says:

    My mother-in-law is a huge Denver fan. Thus when informed she would be coming to my house for supper and to watch the game I became a Seattle fan, if only to balance things out. Had to review a few stats at espn so I didn’t sound completely ignorant.

    Otherwise, I rank football and other sports right up there with the lives of those celebrities I see on the covers of supermarket checkout lines. The ones where they only use their first name, because *everybody* should know just who Brad or Angelina or Tom or Mike or Fred are. And care about the state of their marriage, their stint in rehab, their new project, or the state of their health.

    I choose to join the majority. There’s something approaching 3.31 billion Chinese who could care less who wins the Super Bowl or what is happening to Angelina or Brad or Tom or Mike or Fred. There are an additional 1.2 billion Indians who have the same lack of concern.

    There are about 7.1 billion people on the planet. Of those, China and India represent 4.5 billion, or just under two thirds of the total population. Thus, democracy in action, my lack of caring suddenly becomes the popular view.

    What frosts me is that I’m paying $70/mo for a box that decrypts a signal full of reality tv and stations I do not care to watch. I keep looking for a button that will increase the intelligence of what I see on television. There’s a button labeled “brightness” but it doesn’t do what you might expect.

    – Max

    • I heard the game was a blowout. I sorta’ hate the Broncos for not football related reasons (which I won’t mention at this time). I’m glad they got hammered and glad I didn’t need to watch their embarrassment.

      Kill the box! I’ve never ever in my life paid for cable and I’ve probably saved the cost of a good two year old Subaru. $70 a month is real money.

      Also, rest assured the 4.5 billion people not watching the Superbowl were likely doing something equally vapid. (Possibly bad movies from “Bollywood”?) Don’t assume they were all busily reading Tolstoy and curing cancer.

      (Full disclosure, I do pay for internet and Netflix. I’m not a monk.)

  6. Stephen says:

    Guess I’m a commie too. I ignored the super bowl, and I read.

  7. rapnzl rn says:

    Squirrel fondue? Dang, AC. You’ve been holdin’ out on us….

    Too worried about how to get the ice “underneath” for sturgeon spearing here. Sumthin’ ’bout a super bowl?????

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