Totally True Facts

  1. A blogger without Internet access is a truck driver equipped with a mule.
  2. I drove to a yuppie coffee shop (i.e. enemy territory) specifically for WiFi only to discover that their WiFi was down and the coffee I make in my kitchen is better than the sputum of Satan which they somehow manage to foist on their customers.  (In all fairness the bar is set pretty high.  I don’t cook much of anything but I make rockin’ coffee.)  When I asked the drone at the counter if their WiFi was malfunctioning she fixed me with a stare akin to when I explain physics to a Labrador Retriever.  Further when I said, “I don’t mind the ‘net is down because I came here specifically to enjoy this putrid $4 coffee” she did not recognize it as sarcasm.  (I can only assume putrid is a word she had never heard?  Actually I’d feel better if I knew she was stoned.  If you’re stupid while stoned there’s always the possibility you’ll brighten up after a good night’s sleep.)
  3. I’m convinced the reason for #2 is that hipster ironic glasses that people wear to express their individualism by pretending they’re Elvis Costello cause brain cancer.
  4. It has been snowing two out of the last two days.  Which is 100% more than it should be snowing.
  5. I have no idea when this will be posted.  Luckily it’s a blog and not a nuclear reactor.  I can ignore it for a while.  Carry on without me!
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About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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5 Responses to Totally True Facts

  1. julie says:

    Well your post made it out .. sorry that you had to suffer bad coffee. There is not much worse than bad coffee.

  2. KA9VSZ says:

    This is why I don’t go to coffee shops. I like my coffee better than Starcrap (their water is too hot) and the internet at home is free because I set up my neighbor’s wireless network. Plus, he doesn’t drink coffee. And our only stoner neighbor is Microsoft-certified. No reason to leave home.

  3. KA9VSZ says:

    Regarding number five: A buddy who IS a nuke plant operator makes me think some of them are ignored… Luckily, the prevailing winds are in my favor.

  4. Southern Man says:

    “…the internet at home is free because I set up my neighbor’s wireless network.”

    Cannot. Stop. Laughing.

    • Anonymous says:

      One of the other neighbors hasn’t even changed his router’s factory-default username & password. Don’t ask how I know. It’s a good thing I’m not malicious. And I’ve been making my coffe from free Starbunk grounds that I was given. My coffee still tastes better than theirs. Sometimes life doesn’t suck completely.

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