Chevy Volt: Unicorn Sighting I

I always usually admit when I’m wrong. Despite my intense white hot hatred for the unsustainably political market failure that is the Volt; I was wrong. First I was wrong because I assumed I’d never see one driven by an actual human being on a non-theoretical road. I admitted as much when I reported seeing one in the wild. Now I am wrong because I have misunderstood their customer demographic.

Today, Mrs. Curmudgeon and myself saw the Volt for a second time. I can’t be sure it was the same Volt but that’s my guess. (I reason that when you see something as rare as the Loch Ness Monster and three weeks later you see a second Loch Ness Monster a mile away… it’s the same creature.)

Being an inquisitive (Adaptive!) Curmudgeon I began observing. My first observation was that the snow had melted off every car in the parking lot except the Volt. The absence of an engine meant the hood hadn’t shed it’s layer of ice. I don’t see anything wrong with ice on the hood but it was something I noticed.

My second thought was to quantify the Volt’s habitat. Shockingly it was not at a political rally, located in San Francisco (which is like a political rally with permanent residents), or in a dealer’s showroom. It was parked at a restaurant. Even more interesting, this restaurant doesn’t serve tofu. Surprises abound!

Nor was it a warm location. It’s not yet winter but it’s coming. I almost feel pity for any battery forced to live here. Can a Volt handle -20f weather? That would be impressive! I wouldn’t expect a Volt here in winter any more than I’d expect a robin to overwinter in Greenland. I root for it’s success just as I root for my diesel equipment to start on cold mornings in January.

Also it was in a smallish city surrounded on all sides by damn near nothing. Almost by definition this must be one of the “gas generator” Volts. I can’t see how a pure electric could get here unless someone towed it to the hinterlands and stranded in a 35 mile habitat. Gas or not, it also probably lives somewhere where it’s electric range would get it to it’s current location. Since ½ of its range is 17 miles I assume it lives within 15 minutes of this spot.

Then we entered the establishment where I began the game of “who brought the hippie car”.

About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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7 Responses to Chevy Volt: Unicorn Sighting I

  1. Miguel says:

    Sometimes whales beach themselves and other animals’ instincts fail them and end up far from their original grounds. Not saying that it happened in this case, but it is a plausibloe explanation for your case.

  2. Kangtong says:

    I am so looking forward to the follow up post. My guess, college professor.

  3. Ellen D. Stone says:

    Are you sure that you saw a human on your first sighting? Maybe it was a mannequin and the hamsters were driving from the backseat? It sure looks like it has just enough room for their little paws to reach from the back seat to the steering wheels and pedals?

  4. doubletrouble says:

    When in the restaurant, sniff for traces of patchouli.

  5. Jeff says:

    Aren’t *all* the Volts the ‘gas generator’ type? I didn’t think any of them are pure electric…thought they were Fisker-like design. Electric motors with gas engine + plug-in for charging.

  6. kx59 says:

    I await sighting a volt in the Houston area with baited breath. Especially during a gully washer thunderstorm when the streets flood. A taser’s got nothing on those battery packs.
    Now that I think about it, I don’t want to be anywhere near a volt in a flood.
    Or a Fisker, or a Telsa for that matter.

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