The kids were still pointing at Michelle Obama on the TV and complaining loudly that she was screwing up their desert menu. Clearly it was time to inject some reason into their angered frenzy.
“Did you know she’s going to take away recess too?” I asked.
The kids gasped.
“Yep. No dessert and no recess. School all year round.” I was on a roll.
“Even on Christmas?” One had eyes wider than saucers.
“Homework on Christmas.” I added sadly.
Mrs. Curmudgeon stopped my fun. “Don’t listen to him kids,” She explained “he has dementia because he’s old. And stupid.” She looked at me. “Very extremely stupid.” The kids laughed. My spell was broken. Now they were going to wind up playing bongos in Berkley. Oh well; I’d tried.
“What did you do that for?” I said. “I was just warming up to explain Obamacare’s new involuntary organ donation program. It was going to be epic!”
“You’re going to get arrested.” She explained (as if I wasn’t willing to risk jail for a good joke).
“But it’s Halloween season! What’s Halloween without zombies? Organ donor zombies. I just made that up. Isn’t that the coolest idea?” Just then the pizza arrived and the presidential debate started. This spared me a detailed explanation why I should keep my mouth shut. (Which is good counsel that I regularly ignore.)