Marketers Assure Me…

…that love is what makes a Subaru.


I prefer vehicles made out of metal. It’s a shame because a Subaru made of metal might appeal to me but one made of love smells like bullshit.

Moreover I’m wearing deodorant that is supposed to smell like wilderness, open air, and freedom.  Apparently something has gone wrong because I’ve been working all day in the open air, and all I can smell is sweat.  (Which is an honest smell and far less annoying than bullshit.)

Speaking of annoying bullshit; political ads are the irrelevant distilled essence of bullshit painted on a solid block of condescension which is then delivered, screeching like a cat in heat, upside your head.  As if an audio visual suppository is supposed to make me like someone?  Why?  I will not vote for either hope or change any more than I’d buy a car made of love or wipe my armpit with wilderness.

On the other hand I have driven several cars which cause me to experience Fahrvergnügen.  One was even a Volkswagen.  I sure loved that car; which was made (as all cars should be) out of metal.

About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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7 Responses to Marketers Assure Me…

  1. Roon Ploogfloog says:

    I wonder if “love” might be a reference to Subaru’s history of usually low-key gay-targeted advertising? NTTAWWT obv.

    Well, maybe that’s a stretch.

  2. Wolfman says:

    Huh, Im wearing that same deodorant. When I read ‘Wilderness, Open Air, and Freedom’ I expected some combination of pinesol, gunsmoke, and pollen, but lo and behold it smelled almost exactly like the old Showtime flavor, which, for all I know, was marketed to smell like strippers and booze. All I really look for in deodorant is it to NOT smell like Hobo and Old Goat, which is my default. My wife picked it out. She cares about smelling things she likes, whereas I only care about not smelling like things I dont like. Works out well, that way. And Subies are actually really good cars. They are nearly ubiquitous, for example, in Montana, where they generally outperform most trucks in the snow (especially ice, very stable vehicles). I also have gotten a bit annoyed with their ‘Love’ campaign.

  3. Joe in PNG says:

    Somebody really needs to do an ad campaign where they assure the viewer that their cars are made of AWESOME!!!! Or carbon fiber, which is pretty much the same thing.

  4. Tom Hughes says:

    too bad the best car on the planet smells of bs

  5. Woodman says:

    How about weaved strands of AWESOME!

    Damn, someone bring Joe Isuzu back.

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