Recently I was forced to subsist on barely edible food. Yes, I’m talking about a Hardees Six Dollar Burger. Tragic! Alas, sometimes I just don’t have time to prepare a proper venison steak.
It was after midnight and the clueless robot behind the counter looked easily confused. Rather than try and explain “I want the burger and not the other shit” I just ordered a #1 meal. This came with congealed potato product (fries) and a kidney buster sized soda cup.
The burger was tasty but went down like the Titanic. I digested it for days.
The fries tasted exactly like something purchased just off a highway exit at midnight should taste.
It was better than starving and I was pretty darned hungry. I was thankful to have something hot. (At least it didn’t come from a vending machine.)
As for the soda, I didn’t want eleventy ounces of sugar. I’m already enough of a lard ass without help. So I filled my cup half full and left. Driving down the road sipping my half-cup I realized something. I had just exercised self control beyond what Bloomberg deems humanly possible. I’d voluntarily limited my soda consumption of my own accord. Wow! I deserve a freakin’ medal.
Then I wondered, does this make me tougher than the entire population of the Big Apple? Bloomberg seems to think so. If only Bloomberg thought his citizens were as awesome as a redneck in a truck on a flyover country highway…wouldn’t that be a huge improvement?