Poodle Vision: Epilogue

I am slow in reporting this news of great import but my earlier experience (see: Poodle Vision) has had unforeseen repercussions.  Apparently small axillary backup (the guest dog…tragically, a poodle) has infected our large domestic security unit (our family dog) with some sort of ear infection.  I wasn’t there for the vet consult but I gather some sort of creepin’ crud got from one dog’s tongue to the other dog’s ear.  (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

So now I’ve got to schedule a daily wrestle with my drooling yard wookie to shove some sort of outrageously overpriced liquid into her ear.  She does not like it.  I don’t like it either but I’m bigger than her; and it’s for her own good.  Which she acknowledges daily when the ordeal is over by placidly wagging her tail and letting me pet her while I clean up the wreckage we’ve inevitably created by knocking over every piece of furniture in a ten foot radius.  On the bright side we make great entertainment for the rest of the household; sort of like a furry/logger WWF smackdown in the kitchen.

Which brings me to today’s “ironclad rule of logically interacting with genetically engineered wolf by-products”:

“When dealing with dogs, if it can fit in a microwave; put it in one.”

(Note: this is not to say that the poodle was anything other than cute and pleasant…nor am I denying that walking a dog smaller than a locomotive has its merits.  But a man has to stick with his morals and I say dogs should be huge.)

Update: I have been made aware that a similar law was established involving blenders.   (What can I say?  The laws of nature become obvious to all who observe.)

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About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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7 Responses to Poodle Vision: Epilogue

  1. C. S. P. Schofield says:

    I would beg an exception for Pugs, who tend to be quiet, well mannered little beasts, and also for any small-breed dogs who actually work for a living (hunting beagles, terriers that actually go ratting, etc).

    • Hmmm…. I’ll make an exception for dogs that regularly kill stuff as part of earning their keep? It’s a slippery slope though.

      • C. S. P. Schofield says:

        Yes, it is. I maintain, though, that a terrier who is a yappy little horror because he’s a petted little brute is one thing, while a terrier who is a yappy little horror because he’s a rough, tough rat killer has earned a little slack.

  2. ASM826 says:

    They don’t have to be huge. They do have to be bigger than cats. Smaller than that and it messes with their psyche, and they get yappy and unpleasant.

    • C. S. P. Schofield says:

      I have actually known a few cat-sized dogs who were fairly pleasant. Case in point; a Pekingese who outlived his little-old-lady owner. He had been the typical fat, yappy lapdog. He was inherited by the great-grandkids, four or five of them. Given some people who could actually run around and play with him, he got lean and happy for the first time in his life. He still yapped when he barked, but he only did it when it made sense; when he was chasing a ball, for instance, and he never JUST yapped. He was a nice dog, overall.

      I have to wonder how many yappy little monsters are really frustrated balls of unused energy, suffering from indigestion because they get fed the wrong things. All dogs need to play, and dress-up doesn’t count.

  3. Don says:

    When I got to “drooling yard wookie” I nearly choked on my breakfast laughing, and chuckled the rest of the way through because I can truly relate. I’ll be linking this one on my blog; everyone needs a laugh like that today. Thanks!

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