The Tyranny Of Hanging Chads

I was in my bunker living room last night discussing this year’s craptacular electioneering with some random fool Dr. Mingo when he made an excellent prognostication.

The 2010 election cycle will have no fewer than three races which “go into overtime”.

Dr. Mingo is correct.  Even the number seems about right.

Dr. Mingo and his staff statistician (seen behind him) agree that the number of the counting shall be three.

I concur that at least three national races will go into recounts.  This will include the usual ugly horseshit where chicken entrails and voodoo ritual will be used to determine “voter intent” on boxes of missing ballots discovered in the trunk of a parked Lincoln abandoned in Chicago.  They’ll be incorrectly translated into Swahili and signed by minor homeless illegal aliens without ID who were trucked across state lines by ACORN.

Both Dr. Mingo and myself note that each time the same ballots are counted, supporters of the Evil Party gain votes over the tally recorded for the Stupid Party.  I loathe biased recounts.  Winning, even in elections, is not everything.  Tinkering with rules to make a loss into a win is…here’s a word rarely used these days…wrong.

Nor do I care about a voter’s “intent “.  What a person put on a ballot is what they put on the ballot.  If you checked the box for Stalin and really wanted Pol Pot…tough shit.  Nor do I care if you disenfranchised yourself.  If you didn’t go to the polls, lack the ability to prove who you are, can’t spell your own name, peed on the ballot, or inexplicably stabbed yourself with a pencil while trying to vote; you lost out.  You blew it.  Come back in the next election and try again.  This is important…I don’t care about your intent; I care about what you actually did.

Recent biased recounts erode essential faith in our system of governance.  Further, the more biased the recount the greater the chances for deception, misdirection, vice, obnoxiousness, and asshattery.

Math is hard.

About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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1 Response to The Tyranny Of Hanging Chads

  1. Pingback: Stewart Smalley And Self Correcting Systems | The Adaptive Curmudgeon's Blog

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