Word For The Day: Sampled

As a hunter I’m interested in certain deer infecting maladies.  Notably things that’ll transfer from said deer to me and melt my brain.  Prions carrying BSE (bovine spongiform encephalopathy) and other “Mad Cow” related terrors are examples of things I’d rather not ingest.

If Mad Cow becomes endemic in our deer population it will be wise to check for zombie deer hunters before you enter any domicile.

Deer may carry Bovine Tuberculosis (BT) in certain very rare instances.  As far as I can tell it’s bad for deer but not likely to kill me.  I’m not worried about it even though it can cross over into cattle.  Farmers, with their livelihood tied up in cows, have a different opinion.  Go figure.

Apparently BT popped up briefly in Minnesota.  One solution is to cut down on the population.  In some places deer are overpopulated anyway.  I’d turn every bubba loose with an open permit and a license to use anything from rifles to claymore mines.  Alas the Minnesota DNR hired baby seal clubbers sharpshooters to do the deed.  Tragic but understandable.

Another piece of the puzzle is researching how many deer have this disease.  Deer, unlike Chicago voters (which can actually vote while dead), don’t voluntarily show up to be counted.  Bubbas (like me) often allow a sample to be taken from a harvested dead deer and that adds up to a pretty decent picture of the disease carried by deer in the area.  Since the sharpshooters were out there deliberately killing fauna in the most infected areas, the DNR had them collect a sample from every deer they shot.  Good way to beef up the sample size.

Good news.  Dick Cheney The sharpshooters killed and tested 420 some animals with zero instances of the dreaded disease.  Hurray!

This is great news and was readily reported in rural areas where it’s far more important than some damn mosque in far off Modor Manhattan.  The beauty is the euphemism used.

“No disease in 425 sampled deer” the headline read.  Superb!  Now the word “sample” means being stalked by a government sharpshooter and gunned down until you collapse in a deserted forest snowdrift and have your head sawn off and taken to a laboratory where geeks look at in under a microscope.  This definition of “sample” has me a mite uneasy.

Remember, the next census is only ten years out and it (as always) will be a 100% sample.  I’m getting ready by building a bunker and hiring Blackwater to defend my house.  When the next “sample” happens you’re on your own!

About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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