Chipmunk Wars: Part 0

In October Curmudgeon Compound was attacked by zombies critters.  I wrote a story describing my brave fight against the forces of darkness furry invaders and my massive victory minor success in defending the homeland.

Then, because I was busy doing particle physics research in the barn I was lazy, I failed to post it.  Today, while cutting firewood meditating[1], a woodland creature perched on my woodpile and started bitching me out.  Vocally expressed his distaste for me, my saw, my wood splitter, my truck, my hat, my dog, and my very existence.  This reminded me of the epic battle of autumn.  Stay tuned for the details…

A.C.

[1]  Cutting firewood IS meditation dammit.  Loud macho dangerous exhausting meditation!  You expect me to sit on a rug smelling candles?

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About Adaptive Curmudgeon

I will neither confirm nor deny that I actually exist.
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2 Responses to Chipmunk Wars: Part 0

  1. Cutting and splitting firewood is definitely meditation. Shooting pests is also. It’s all about proper posture, breath control, concentration, and release.

  2. MaxDamage says:

    Fishing for prairie dogs is also a meditative sport, much like fishing for walleye and bass can be, save that the expense of a boat isn’t required.

    Now myself, I’ve long preferred my heavy-duty river rod, same thing I use to fish for salmon in the brackish water near the mouth of the Columbia river when I go on vacation. A 10-lbs test line does the trick, and a nice treble hook baited with peanut butter. Add an 8oz to 12oz sinker depending upon the distance to cast — I prefer one that slides along the line as it presents less drag when they’re first taking the bait.

    So cast it out near a prairie dog hole, set the drag off, and wait. They’ll sniff for a while, make little darting attempts, and it’s important to wait this out. Pretty soon one will gulp it down and start running. Let him run — prairie dogs take a good 30 to 40 feet to get up to speed — so let him run and then trip your reel and pull back hard and *set* that hook!

    Yeah, turns them right inside out. Reel him in, use the fat from the innerds to tan the hide, let them dry in the sun for a couple of days and they make nifty slippers that are suitable for all holidays or gift-giving occasions.

    Had ya going there for a minute, didn’t I?

    – Max

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